Saturday, November 20, 2004

When ex-es became royal jerks

One last thing that a dumpee needs from her dumper is to be reminded of the factuality that she has been dumped. As simple as that. But I ask, why do they love to keep rubbing in that they mean no harm? Or hurt? Or… whatever.

The truth is it isn’t our ego that has been busted. It’s the trust. Our faith in love, no matter how sappy as it may sound. We keep it cool, we make you feel that “ah, okay… you don’t like me anymore. Bye then, I’ll go on with my life.” But hey, it is not as easy as it may appear. Deep inside, we are hurting too much that we eventually become numb to all the heartache and the pain that just a mere thought of you brings.

It is actually hard to move on with life. As much as possible, we don’t wanna be reminded of the lovey-dovey things that we used to share together or the Edwin McCain songs that we pathetically branded as ours… our theme song. (bleckkkk!) Sometimes, the bitterness eats up our insides that seeing a couple makes us all devilish thinking that all is just part of a play. Nothing about it is true at all. “Mag-be-break din kayo!” we happily hum to ourselves.

Just as we are mending out shattered hearts, thinking everything will be fine eventually, you invade our little ‘lonely’ world in the most casual manner you can project, saying “hi… how’s it going? Kamusta ka?” as if nothing happened?!? You royal hear-breaker! Haven’t you heard of ‘Separate Lives’?

First, if you think that we are elated to hear from you, well, yes we are. But hey, it is not like we are ready to jump on in again. After maybe, 16 seconds of self-debate, self-preservation prevails. In our minds, “oh no, here we (or I) go again…” We keep asking ourselves what else do you want. Haven’t I had enough? So we response to you as casual as you did. The conversation is all going fine (we hope) then you bring up the whole idea about our break-up. WhY?!? Does it really satisfy you? Is it some type of an ego booster?

Okay, we’ve been apart for like a month now. You say you are currently happy and contented with your life (no big deal). You say, in a very awkward manner, that you somehow miss me (okay, I can live with that). You say you really loveD me and yea, you still feel something for me but it isn’t enough to make everything work (hmmm… I wonder if you were drunk when you’re saying that, but hey, okay, no big deal). You say everything which you think would make you appear like an angel before me since I’ve been pretty much the victim here. But then… all of a sudden (without an actual inquisition from me) you will announce that you are happily hitched. JERK.

I’m so not in the mood to continue writing right now… some other time.