Thursday, September 28, 2006

Fun is fun but that's not what i need right now...

I was totally turned upside down. It was all too much that I have suddenly realized that it really can't happen; it just wouldn't because it's not meant to be. It's good to back out while I still can, although there's already a little twinge of pain whenever I think about it.

Again, I feel the dead cold touch of truth and it hurts like a frostbite like it did before. Another "why", another sorrow that is too familiar; i feel like it's all inside me, leaving me helpless while in pain.

I guess I am lucky I am not the kind of person who can easily be blinded by false hopes. I can smell what is rotten; I can see beyond the act. It's just FUN while at it. Just fun and nothing more. But I found myself wishing for more - I hopeD. And that doesn't seem right. When it's us that's involved, nothing is and will ever be right. There was never a we to start with.

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